Is he “not sure” what he wants? Is he being flaky? Here’s what to do. For more dating and love tips, go to
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It’s not easy to have “the conversation”.
You know the one I’m talking about…
… “what are we?”
Maybe it takes you weeks of courage to have the conversation…
… or maybe it spontaneously bursts out at what seems like the worst moment.
Either way, if his response is…
“I don’t know what I want right now”…
… it can be devastating, infuriating, and completely confusing.
What does that even mean?
You feel confident in what you want…
… why doesn’t he?
Let me tell you…
… there are 3 reasons why I guy might tell you he’s not sure what he’s looking for.
How you respond to him depends on what’s going on behind the scenes.
Check out this video to find out why he tells you he “doesn’t know what he wants”.
P.S. If you’re looking for a serious, committed relationship and you’re tired of casually “hanging out,” you should check out my program, Casual To Committed.
It contains the blueprint for taking things from casual and uncertain to committed and secure.
SUMMARY Dating Advice
3 Reasons He Says He Doesn’t Know What He Wants
1. He’s manipulating you
He knows what he wants and it isn’t you.
He wants to have sex with you, while having the option to do the same thing with many other women.
He’s stringing you along telling you that he’s figuring it out, or that he needs more time, when it’s been figured out from the very beginning.
The surest sign that he is using this as a manipulative tactic, is that he’s shown absolutely no interest in you beyond sex.
He hasn’t tried to spend time with you to get to know you as a friend.
If he’s a manipulator, then the best thing to do is protect your heart and move on.
2. He’s legitimately confused about what he wants in a relationship
In this case, there’s probably something else in his life that’s actually stopping him from jumping in head first.
Maybe he wants you, but his ex keeps texting him and is completely playing with his head.
Maybe he loves you, but he’s moving across the country in two weeks and doesn’t think that it makes sense.
The surest sign that he’s just legitimately confused is that when you’re with him, it feels like there’s a real emotional connection, but when you’re not…
…he seems to always be pulling back.
The best thing to do is just to be open with him about what it is that you’re noticing and see if you can get to the heart of the problem.
This way you’ll have the information and understand why he’s acting this way…
… so that you can act accordingly and see if it makes sense to pursue the relationship any further.
3. He’s delaying the decision until he knows you better
Sometimes people just have different timings when it comes to relationships.
For you it might take you three weeks before you want to dive head first.
For him, it might take him three months before he really knows whether or not it’s a fit.
The sure sign that he’s delaying to see if you guys are actually a fit, is if you haven’t known each other for very long.
The best case here is to use your best common sense.
If you haven’t known someone for that long, there’s no reason to push commitment.
It’s really only once you’ve known someone for two, maybe three months when you can start having those types of discussions.
When he doesn’t want a relationship yet, think about these three situations.
You don’t have to end things just because he’s unsure.
Have you ever been in a situation when a guy didn’t really know what we wanted, but then it ultimately worked out?
I’d love to hear your story in the comment below and join in this community.